Romance scams: Tips for staying safe online

Estimated reading time
 4 min

Jump to

• What is a romance scam?
• How can you spot a romance scam?
• Common romance scam scenarios
• How to stay safe when dating online
• What can you do if you think you’ve been scammed?
• Who can you contact if you’ve been scammed?

Looking for love online? Romance scams continue to target Australians, making online dating safety more crucial than ever.

After chatting on dating apps or websites, you might feel you've found the perfect match - someone who messages you daily and seems genuinely invested. But when they start asking for money, it could be a scam. Many people send funds believing they’re helping someone they love, only to be “ghosted” or pressured for more.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

In 2024, Australians reported over $156 million in losses to romance scams.¹ The good news? You can protect yourself. Learn how romance scams work, the red flags to watch for, and how to date online with confidence and security
 

What is a romance scam?

Simply put, a romance scam is when a scammer gains your trust online over a period of time to gain financial influence over you. These romance scammers often use fake names and identities, with many claiming that they’re from Australia but are ‘working overseas’.

Once they’ve gained your trust, the romance scammer might ask you for a financial favour – for example, asking for hundreds of dollars to help pay for a flight to visit you. The scammer will either disappear without a trace (and with your money) or keep asking you for cash.

How can you spot a romance scam?

Wondering if your online match is genuine? Here are some key red flags that can help you identify a potential romance scam:

• Fast-moving relationship. Scammers often express intense emotions quickly and push the relationship to progress a little too quickly.
  
  
• Switching platforms. They move the conversation from dating apps to private messaging apps to avoid detection.
  
  
• Dodging in-person meetups or video calls. They never follow through on plans to meet face-to-face or on camera.
  
  
• Encouraging secrecy. Scammers may isolate you from friends and family and urge you not to share details about your “relationship”.
  
  
• Inconsistent stories. Their profile details and personal stories often don’t match up.
  
  
• Requests for money. They ask for financial help - either directly or through subtle manipulation.
  

Being mindful of these behaviours can make it easier to identify potential scams and approach online dating more cautiously.

6 common romance scam scenarios

Once a romance scammer has gained your trust, they may use emotional manipulation or fabricated stories to ask for money. Here are some of the most common romance scam scenarios to watch out for:

1. Fake investment success: They claim to have earned a large profit from a “low-risk, high-return” investment and urge you to invest too - insisting it worked for them.
   
   
2. Moving in together: After months of building a relationship, they say they’re ready to live with you and ask for money to cover a home deposit or rental bond.
   
   
3. Money or item forwarding: They send you money or goods and ask you to forward them elsewhere. This tactic is often used to hide criminal activity and may unknowingly involve you as a money mule.
   
   
4. International travel excuse: They say they live overseas and want to visit you but can’t afford the trip. You send money, but they never arrive.
   
   
5. Legal trouble: They claim to be fleeing prosecution in another country and need financial help to stay safe or avoid arrest.
   
   
6. Medical emergency: They tell you a relative is seriously ill and ask for money to cover hospital bills or urgent treatment.
   

How to stay safe when dating online

If you’re wanting to explore the world of online dating and stay safe from romance scams, here are a few tips that you can follow:

• Chatting with a person who might be your one true love can be exciting. But don’t dive headfirst into the relationship. Take a moment to ask questions to verify their identity. If they’re dodging your questions, then do some investigating of your own – what social media do they have? Can you reverse image search their profile picture? Doing your due diligence now can protect you from a broken heart and lost money later.
  
  
• Never feel pressured into sending money to someone – even if it’s someone who claims to love you. Stop and think twice before acting, especially when your hard-earned money is involved.
  
  
• Don’t share any personal information with anyone. This includes your passwords, PINs, bank account information and more.
  

What can you do if you think you’ve been scammed?

First of all, don’t blame yourself. Romance scams can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, gender or background.

• If you’ve shared financial information or transferred money, notify your bank immediately. If you’re an ANZ customer, contact us immediately and report it.
  
  
• If you shared credit card details, block or cancel those cards immediately. If your cards are with ANZ, you can do this through the app. Learn more.
  
  
• Report the account to the dating app and/or the messaging app you used to communicate with the romance scammer. 
  

Who can you contact if you’ve been scammed?

• Report the romance scam or dating scam to the Police through the Australian Signals Directorate’s ReportCyber portal. This resource is there for reports of scams where money or personal information has been lost.
  
  
• Help others by reporting to Scamwatch  to help them prevent future losses, monitor trends and educate the population about emerging threats.
  
  
• You can also contact IDCare, a not-for-profit organisation that provides support to those experiencing identity and cyber security concerns.